History repeats itself!

This time of year is always hard for me as this is when my life was turned upside down, now nine years ago!

Things were going well for me now, pregnancy wise. I was given a due date of August 17, 2005. At every appointment, I had an ultrasound done to check my babys development. Which calmed my nerves some. At this same time, my two best friends, at the time, also found out they were pregnant. One of them, Melitta, found out a month before me, the other, my friend Samantha I've mentioned, was due a few weeks before me. My pregnancy was going smoothly but of course every little thing scared me to my core! I constantly had my hands on my stomach making the baby move (when it got to this point). Melitta rented me an at home doppler that I kept glued to my stomach!

But, around 17 weeks of pregnancy, Jeremy began acting as he did when I was pregnant with Kaylea. Just being mean in a subtle way. Not talking to me and when he did he constantly argued with me and made me feel like it was my fault because I was "hormonal"! When all it was, was HIM NOT ME!! I felt that familiar itch! That familiar feeling and thought, he's going to leave me, AGAIN! Only this time I was on his turf, so to speak, I lived with HIS family! What would I do?! So after some time of putting up with this, I finally asked, well demanded, to know what his problem was! And it came out, same as last time! I'm not happy with you, you've got to go! REALLY?! AGAIN, YOU ASSHOLE?! So, I walked out the bedroom, crying, and called my mama and asked to come home. By this time, Jeremys sister, Bethany, had also moved into their grandmas house. Bethany ALWAYS knew what Jeremy was doing but wouldn't tell me unless she was mad, which she later did, much later. But of course Jeremy would say, she's only telling you this because she's mad at me. But I was NOT stupid I knew better! So, as I left that day, I told Jeremy, I do not want to hear that you're telling people this baby isn't yours! You know it is! I've lived with you at your grandmas since before I was pregnant, miles away from anyone I know, so you know it's yours! I asked him if there was someone else and he swore there wasn't! I worked at the same place as him so I took him to work even on days I was off so this time I really didn't think there was anyone else! Oh, but I was so wrong! I told him I expected him to call me everyday because he was not going to treat me like he did with Kaylea! He was to help me and he was to go to every single doctors appointment with me, including my next ultrasound in a few weeks as we would learn the sex of our baby! And he agreed. But a few weeks later, as I knew, Bethany was mad at Jeremy. Jeremy moved out of his grandmas and told me he was staying with a guy he worked with, Jamal. I had been there before because we had watched the superbowl there a month earlier. I needed the key to his grandmas to go get some things so I went to Jamals house. When he came to the door, he looked confused and asked what was up. I said is Jeremy home I need to talk to him. He said, Jeremy? I haven't seen him since y'all watched the superbowl here! BUSTED!! So, I call Jeremy and I'm like what is going on? WHERE ARE YOU LIVING?! So, he tells me a woman named Carolyn he worked with told him he could rent a room at her house and he had told Jamal to tell me he hadn't seen him when really he had seen him and Jeremy had moved out a few days earlier. All lies! I remembered Carolyn from work. She worked in the deli and everytime we were in the break room together, she'd give me evil looks like she just hated me! Like I said, I'm not stupid! Most of the time, a man and woman don't live together unless they're sleeping together! What world did he think I lived in?! But all the while, I wasn't going to let myself get upset! Stress was not killing another baby of mine! So I concentrated on my baby! On April 7, 2005 I had my 20 week ultrasound (at 21 weeks this time). My mama and I went by wal-mart and picked him up and headed to the doctors. Jeremy had gotten a brand new cell phone and still maintained he was just "friends" with Carolyn. And let me just say, at this time, Jeremy was 23 and I was 20, getting ready to turn 21 in a few months and Carolyn was 45! Old enough to be his mama! And she was very unattractive! Anyway, we arrived at the doctor and I was hooked up to the ultrasound machine. On the screen I saw my tiny 15 ounce baby and IT'S A BOY!!! Every measurement was perfect, he was perfect! I was no longer sad about Jeremy, I was elated for my son!!

Things were getting ready to change again. For the better...