And then there was two (and a half)...

Things were going really good. A week after Gavin turned 1 he started walking. I was so proud of him and very happy to be his mommy! I felt like, for once, that my life made sense and that I couldn't be any happier! But, as always, the past would make its appearance and history would repeat itself! I knew it was too good to be true.

In August 2006, we found out we were expecting again! We were trying because I wanted my children to be close in age not years apart. But I was always scared Jeremy was going to leave again. It was a constant thought in the back of my head and it drove me insane! I'd even ask him if he was going to leave even though I wasn't given a reason to think he would at this point. I guess I was just paranoid. This pregnancy was moving on along and was pretty uneventful. No morning sickness and not too much weight was gained. Gavin was very happy to be getting a little brother or sister. I was high risk again but not as strict as with Gavin. I still had ultrasounds done often. My blood pressure was elevated but not bad enough to be on medication. With this pregnancy, I wasn't as scared as I was with Gavin. I never had bad feelings like something was going to happen to my baby. I was very happy! I was given a due date of April 6, 2007. This time I would be pregnant in the winter not the middle of summer like with Gavin so I'd hoped I wouldn't be so miserable this time! On November 10, 2006, we had our 20 week ultrasound. And everything was perfectly measuring. And we found out IT'S A GIRL!!! I was beyond excited! I had my boy and I had a girl in Heaven, so I wanted a girl to hold in my arms. My arms and my heart was aching for a baby girl!

About a week later, things suddenly began changing. But not with my pregnancy but with Jeremy. He was acting like he always did around my 20th week of pregnancy. Distant, very short with me or either not talking to me at all! Something wasn't right. Finally one day I said, what is your problem? Are you getting ready to leave? Who is the girl you're sleeping with? But of course, he denied sleeping with anyone. But he did just blurt out that he wasn't in love with me anymore! I have no idea what ever caused him to do this out of the blue because we got along so good all the time! And I said so why aren't you happy? He said nothing, just stood there looking at me. We began arguing because I wanted to know why! Why he was going to leave me, again, and this time not just me but our 15 month old son!? How could he do this to his son, who loved his daddy so much?! Anyway, I asked if he was seeing someone and he said no. So I asked him if he'd stay home until Christmas so he could see Gavin and he agreed. I'd hoped he'd change his mind and realize he couldn't leave his son. I was wrong! One night, about 3 days after this, I woke up at 1 am and heard the xbox on in the living room. I also noticed my bedroom door was shut and my TV was turned up louder than usual. So I got up and went into the living room and Jeremy was gone. His stuff was still there. Let me just say, I really didn't think he was cheating this time because I talked to him everyday while he was at work so I knew he was there and if he got off at 5 he was home at 5:30! So I didn't think he was cheating. But when I woke up and he was gone I knew then how he was doing it. He'd wait until Gavin and I were asleep and then he'd leave, in the middle of the night! I found out later that he'd been doing this for a month! Being the compulsive liar he was still tried convincing me he wasn't cheating! After I figured out he'd left, I got Gavin up at one in the morning and went out looking for him. I had no idea where to look I was just desperate and hurt for me and my baby boy and baby girl on the way. I rode for two hours and didn't find him so I went home. The next morning he was back. I couldn't live like that for over another month until Christmas. So I told him, I'm NOT stupid, I know you're seeing someone! Who gets up and leaves in the middle of the night just to ride around. That's what he told me he'd been doing just riding around "thinking." I had filled the car up the day before so if he'd been driving for two hours, he would've used ALOT of gas. But the gas hand hadn't moved. So wherever she was, she was very close by. So when I brought up the gas he caved and told me he was seeing someone. I felt like my heart literally broke in half. All these feelings come rushing through me. Our son, how could you do this to him!? I'm pregnant again with a baby girl you're leaving your pregnant wife and fifteen month old son for a whore you just met a month ago? You're throwing everything we've worked so hard to get! Our home, our family, my family that had started trusting him again because he was so great with Gavin and Gavin loved him so much! How could you!!?? I said when you change your mind don't think you're coming back home because I'm so very sick of this! I'm sick of bring abandoned and lied to and cheated on! I'm not just some whore you slept with I'm your wife, the mother of your children! So I told him to get out! Once again, he grabs an xbox first! Are you kidding?! Screw my son, all I want is my xbox! Seriously!? I won't having it! I grabbed it out of his hands and threw it down as hard as I could! Gavin had come out in the hall from his room and I sat down and comforted him as he cried for his daddy! Jeremy didn't even look up. When he come down the hall he had the xbox in his hands, he kicked me into the wall putting a hole in it and when he jumped over me he kicked Gavin in the head! That was it!! All this just to get an xbox out the backdoor! PATHETIC!! So I called 911! He left on foot but apparently she picked him up. He told me before the argument that he was going to stay with a guy he worked with, not the person he was seeing. I didn't believe him, I knew better! The cops arrived and Assault & Battery charges were filed against him on me and Gavin!

He was gone, again. But this time, he not only left me but our son and unborn baby girl. Over the next couple weeks, everything began coming to the light, all the lies led to the truth and it shocked me to my core.......

The pictures below show me while pregnant a couple weeks before her birth. Ultrasound pictures, one of her lil foot and the other is a side profile of her. It may be hard to make out as they are old!