Troubles coming...

I'm going to start now in February 2004. Jim, my ex that I mentioned, got in contact with me after he heard about what Jeremy did. He became a GREAT FRIEND to me! It was nothing sexual about it as I was still MADLY IN LOVE with Jeremy. And I don't know why, I loved him with a love I've never felt before. I guess part of it was my heart breaking and I was in denial over what was going on. I know Jim wanted more but I didn't. I wanted my husband. Plus, too much had happened since Jim & I broke up.

On Valentines Day, Jim, my friend Samantha & her husband, Kris went out to eat. I was having these excruciating pains in my chest. It felt like a 300 pound person was sitting on my chest! We kept having to stop and let me rest it was hurting so bad! A few days later I couldn't take it anymore!

Samantha, Kris and I were out and she talked me into going to the hospital. I wanted Jeremy to know. I don't know why I thought he'd care. So Kris called the house he was at and it just so happened he was here from the beach. Sandy answered the phone and said he won't there but she would tell him even though "he wouldn't care!" So of course that hurt me to my core but it was NOTHING compared to what was coming!

We arrived at the hospital at the maternity ward as I was past five months. I was 25 weeks pregnant at this time. The nurses were HORRIBLE!! It was two of them and they talked to me as if I was a bum off the street! First thing I asked for was an ultrasound and they refused. Instead, she stuck the doppler to my stomach and picked up A HEARTBEAT, BUT IT WASN'T MY  BABYS!! Then she took my blood pressure and it was higher than usual and she told me that was normal. Then she measures my stomach and says to me "you're only measuring twenty week." I said that's impossible as I had an ultrasound six weeks ago and found out the sex at twenty weeks! That right there should've told her to do an ultrasound. But NO! She says "she's laying in the transverse position." Which means she's not up and down she's laying across, horizontal. Still refused an ultrasound! Samantha spoke up trying to tell her to do one and she rudely told Sam, "you're not the patient so do not speak!" VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!! So, after I was talked to like a dog, I left unsatisfied. I guess my motherly instinct was kicking in. At this point, I quit feeling my baby girl move. My mind told me she was gone but doctors told me she was fine. I started researching stillbirth as well.

Nothing prepared me for the phone call I would get a few days later....