This pregnancy was strange from the beginning. As I said in my last blog, the home pregnancy test was positive but the line was very faint. Another pregnancy test from the clinic proved to be positive as well. But since Kaylea was stillborn, this pregnancy would be considered high risk along with any subsequent pregnancies. So, I was sent to a high risk doctor in Lynchburg about 25 miles from my house. At my first appointment blood was drawn and was checked for the pregnancy hormone. My hormone level was very low which meant one of two things: I was in the early stage of pregnancy when the baby is just a sac of hormones or I was losing the baby. The doctor decided to do an ultrasound to check thing out. And it was the first theory, I was very early about two or three weeks pregnant and it was a sac of hormones not yet the shape of a baby. The doctor sent me home and scheduled an ultrasound for the next week to monitor the growth of the baby, to make sure it progresses as normal. So the next week, when the second ultrasound was performed, something VERY weird happened. Not only was the baby there, and it's heart was beating, but it was measuring 7 weeks!! This baffled me as just a week ago it was only a sac of hormones indicating a very early pregnancy. But just a week later it's measuring 7 weeks.
Nonetheless, the baby was there and growing, according to the blood tests I was having done. The tests indicated the hormone count going up each time. So, we got to listen to his heartbeat! I was happy but at the same time, worried. My granny, that I've mentioned, the one mama was taking care of was dying. She had a brain tumor that was cancer and she was getting worse. This caused my mama to fall into a deep depression as this was her mama that was dying. Mama had taken care of her everyday for a year and a half. Then there was Lisa, my roommate, telling me I couldn't live there with a baby. Plus, things with Lisa weren't going good at all. I was just so stressed out. On August 28, 2004, my granny lost a long battle with cancer. And a week after she passed, I had an altercation with my boss at work and I quit. As soon as I left the building, I began to bleed. I called my doctors office immediately and was told bleeding was normal but if it got heavier to go to the hospital. At this time, it was just a little brown discharge. This carried on until my next OB/GYN visit. I told the doctor I had a discharge. I was sent for an ultrasound. I felt that feeling all over again: DOOM!! Was another baby gone? What is wrong with me, I thought. The one thing a woman is supposed to do and I can't do it! What did I do to deserve another baby to be taken away from me!? I felt like instead of my womb being a house for my baby, it was a shallow grave.
The ultrasound tech put the doppler on my stomach and there it was: silence. No heartbeat. A tiny baby laying still. I was ten weeks pregnant. The tech, of course, said let me get the doctor. I said, just tell me because I already know. Unfortunately I'm no stranger to a silent ultrasound. The doctor came in and told me there was no heartbeat and scheduled me for a D&C but a week away.
By this time, Jeremy and I had decided to move in with his grandma and start fresh in a new town. Where no one knows us. Lisa and I were having ALOT of problems. I was paying her half on the bills yet the lights got cut off! So we had moved to Farmville VA which was two hours from the hospital the surgery was scheduled at. So if a problem occurred I'd have to drive two hours to get to the hospital.
Surgery was set up for a week later but I wouldn't make it a week. God had another plan for me.....
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