Reflections: One Year Later

Today marks one full year since my beautiful fiancé was ripped from my life, while we slept. One full year since he's told me 'I love you, baby'. Or felt his kiss on my lips. One full year since I last felt complete; mind, body & soul. 

Here starts the rant......

I got on Facebook to post a photo & talk a little about how bad he is missed & how much he is still loved when I seen something that has truly pissed me the fuck off!! Of course some of his family members, most notably his sister, Latosha, had posted a thing of her own. In this post, she talked about missing him & how much she loved him, which is all fine & dandy, whatever. But on down into the post, she said a few things I'm very pissed about. First and foremost, she said 'one year ago today, I had to identify my brothers body.' THAT is such total & utter BULLSHIT!!! She made the same comment the day he passed away. When she arrived at our house, she was on the phone with her 'mother' and I heard her say, 'mom, I've gotta go. I've gotta identify his body.' Of course, I was way too caught up in my grief to say anything back then. You know, whatever makes her feel better. But now, a year later, she's still saying she had to identify his body & it's time to stop telling that fucking lie! I identified him! ME and ONLY ME. The absolute ONLY reason I was legally obligated to contact her, other then Doug & I not being married, was so she could call a funeral home to release his body to. I was standing there when the officer that was here that day told her that! Before she arrived, I had already given them his full name, birthday, social security number, address, phone number, medical history & any other info they needed to know about him! Not one single word of that was provided by her!! Never once did the officer even say to her, 'is this man your brother?' She was told she did not have to come to our house; all she had to do was call a funeral home to come pick his body up. She could've done that over the fucking phone! When she FINALLY arrived after we'd waited over an hour & a half for her to come, she ASKED if she could look at him, NO ONE told her to look, nor was she told or asked to identify his body! She was told yes she could see him, but not to touch him in any way. I wasn't told not to touch him!! But she was acting so ignorant, threatening to beat my ass, and acting a fucking fool, actually told an officer of the law that it was my fault he died because I bought his alcohol for him!! I mean WHAT THE FUCK, TOSHA?!?! Does she even know how ignorant she sounded AND looked having said that to an officer that knows that's the dumbest thing any human being has ever muttered!! Of course he paid absolutely NO ATTENTION to her saying that. Because any person with a tiny shred of intelligence knows you cannot blame someone's alcoholism on anyone but the alcoholic person! I've said it a million times before & I'll say it again, instead of placing all of the blame on me, take the blame for your own part in him drinking! Ignorant bunch of fools!! 

Don't get me wrong, I didn't have any preconceived notions that today would be easy because I knew someone would post some kind of lie & piss me off! Or some kind of 'we love you so much' bullshit, when none of them bothered to tell him that when he was living! She also said at one point that she never got the chance to tell him how proud she was of him! REALLY?! Because ALL I ever heard was how disappointed you were of him for drinking. Quick to point out the flaws but not commenting on the things he was doing right! Like trying to stop. The reason for him being in the hospital the week before he passed away. He WAS TRYING no matter what any of those judgmental assholes think they know, he was trying.  

Anyway, back to the point. Latosha did NOT have to identify Doug's body!! She viewed his body because she asked if she could!! It may sound petty that I'm so mad about this particular lie. However, I am the one that found him, me & our kids! I had the incredibly hard, painfully excruciating task of calling 911 in sheer panic while my kids stood there looking at Doug's body asking me why he won't wake up. I'm the one that went through the hardest part of the process, or so I thought at the time. And since day ONE, I've been treated as if I were no one to Doug but the girl that bought his fucking alcohol! Like I didn't even know him well enough to tell the officer who he was! I refuse to continue justifying mine & Doug's relationship to a bunch of ignorant fucks that wouldn't know real love if it sat on their faces!! No, what I'm mad about is this bullshit lie that she 'had to' identify his body!! As awful as it was, that moment belongs to me & my kids, no fucking body else!! Just like the last year of his life belongs to us. Unlike everyone else, we stuck by him until the bitter end! They may have ripped him from us after he died out of pure hatred, guilt & spite but I will be damned if they will take away my final moments with him & tell ridiculous lies for no fucking reason but to make themselves look & feel better!! Fuck that & fuck her!!! I don't get to, in his sisters words, pretend that Doug is off somewhere miles away living his life. I don't have that luxury! I found him & I relive that nightmare every single day when I wake up. Every single day! Their nightmare is my reality. It's easy for all of them to move on because they had nothing to do with him when he was living! Outta sight, outta mind, right?! All that 'love' that appeared only after he's gone. I'm sure he would've loved to know just how loved he was by his so-called 'family' while he was alive. I didn't do that though. I was with him everyday. All day.

I've spent the last year missing him & wanting him back, praying I would just wake up from an awful nightmare & he'd still be here. But it never happens. He's gone. Really gone. One year later, that pain is still very real. Though time has eased my suffering, the want, albeit NEED, to have him back never ceases. I can't do anything to bring him back now. But what I can do is call out the lies being told in my own defense & in Doug's defense. He would be so mad about everything that's been done to us. And had I followed HIS wishes, none of them would've been called when he passed away! The week before he died when we were talking about Tosha being so mad at me for not telling her he was in the hospital, he said to me, and I quote, "don't call that bitch if I do die!" The truth will set you free but first it's gonna piss you off!! A year ago, everyone in that horrid family said whatever they could to try & hurt me. But when I say the TRUTH, I get asked, 'how could you say that to a grieving mom? How could you say my brother hated me? How could you? How could you?!' It's easy. I'm telling the truth. Y'all are grasping at straws to try & convince me that Doug didn't really love me or that I'm the one that didn't really know Doug when you didn't know us as a couple. And the one of you that did know us, is just lying to herself! FUCKING PATHETIC!! No, I DO know the real Doug. You know the 18 year old Doug. Not the man he was when he passed away! Alcohol did NOT define him as a person! Dicks!!! 

So, I'll let them carry on lying to themselves about what really happened. And I'll carry on telling the TRUTH! I will spend everyday defending him & us if I have to. This ends, today. I'm sick with grief still a year later. And they carry on as if nothing happened. How nice that must be!! I lived & breathed Doug. He was my entire life. I don't care if it was only for a year! That fact made it any easier to deal with. But the ones that knew him for 27 years are dealing with it better then the ones that only knew him 12 months! In what world is that normal?! Apparently in their world it's acceptable! Like I said, outta sight, outta mind! 

Marily Monroe said it best: They'll only love you after you're gone. 

Just a few of our MANY beautiful memories! Something that no amount of lies will EVER take away!! 

Rules for the Third Annual Valentine's Day Card Exchange

Welcome to the Third Annual SBAPLA Valentine's Day Card Exchange Program! First, before you read any further, if you know you will not be able to purchase or make two Valentine's Day cards & two stamps, please do not join. If you can, please continue reading. Here I will explain how the program works & try & answer your questions.

**What you'll need to do:

To participate, as stated above, you'll need to purchase a minimum of two Valentine's Day cards & two postage stamps (if your names are within the states. If outside the states, you'll purchase six stamps, three for each card). You may ask for more than two names but each person is only required to send out two cards. GIFTS ARE NOT REQUIRED. You may send one but you do not have to. You can also make your cards. Some people find this cheaper, easier & more fun anyway. The addresses will be chosen & provided by me. If you would prefer not to receive religious cards, please specify this when you sign up. If you'd like to stay within your own country, please specify this as well. Please note, I'll try my best to honor that request, but it can't always be done. Especially if you're outside the states because most of the people that sign up are in the states.

**Sign ups & deadlines to have the cards sent out by:

Sign ups started on January 1, 2016. The deadline to sign up by will be Friday, January 15, 2016. I will begin emailing and/or inboxing the addresses to everyone on Monday, January 18,2016. If the names given to you are outside of your country, the cards must be mailed out by Monday, February 1, 2016. If they are within your own country, they must be mailed out by Friday, February 5, 2016. We want the cards to get there BEFORE Valentine's Day, NOT AFTER.

**If you haven't participated in any card exchanges of mine in the past:

If this is your first time participating in one of my card exchange programs, you'll need to either email me or inbox me on the fan page for the program. The link to the fan page is below. My email address is mamasbby84@aol.com.

Please send me the following info when you email me:

1. Your first & last name
2. Your mailing address with NO ABBREVIATIONS.
3. Your angels name (optional)

Also include, as stated above, if you would rather not receive religious cards. If it's too hurtful for your angels name to be on card, just don't include his/her name.

**If you have participated in past exchanges:

If you've participated in the past, all you have to do is tell me you'd like to join. I have all the addresses of everyone that's participated already. If your address has changed since the last exchange, please notify me via email or inbox message on Facebook.

**What happens if you need to drop out:

Dropping out IS acceptable. I know that things happen, oftentimes unexpectedly. If you find you need to drop out, please notify me so that I can give your names to someone else or pick them up myself. If you drop out & you do notify me, you WILL be allowed to join future programs. If you do NOT notify me, you'll be banned from all future programs. If you send me a message AFTER the deadline to have your cards out telling me you need to drop out, this will be unacceptable! If something happens after the deadline, that's no excuse. Because had you sent your cards out on time, this wouldn't effect anything. Please only join if you're serious about it. This is very important! We don't want to hurt an angel mothers feelings on an already difficult day. Any holiday can be difficult without our angel babies! Even Valentine's Day! 

**What is NOT acceptable:

E-Cards are NOT acceptable! Real cards are more personal and that's what's required for this program. 

**Facebook address for the fan page:

Please like the page for the card exchange program & visit it often. I will post updates & important info on the page. Also, sending me a photo of the cards you receive is greatly appreciated. I'll post the photo on the page as a thank you to the person that sent it. It would also be appreciated if you'd at least let me know when you've received your cards. 

Thank you to everyone that signs up! I hope you all enjoy the program! 

The link is www.facebook.com/HolidayCardExchange.

Reflections, 10 months later

Today it was 10 months since our Doug was taken from us. It's also, coincidentally, a year since Doug & I took what would end up being our last photos together. A big huge fuck you to Facebook for reminding me of that today! His 10 month angelversary also got me to thinking from a different perspective. 

One year ago today, I didn't realize that I was only being allowed 2 more short months with my soulmate. It's heartbreaking to think of it that way. We were quickly running out of time & didn't realize it. God, it's been 10 months & all I've got to do is walk into my living room & I'm immediately transferred back in time to 7:30 am on March 10th. I'm standing over him with my worst fear realized: my Doug was dead. DEAD! What the fuck?! How could this actually be happening?! HOW?!?! I mean I know I told him everyday, while arguing over his constant need to be wasted, that he wouldn't live to see 30 if he kept up what he was doing! And, don't get me wrong, I normally love being right! 'Don't drink that entire bottle! You're gonna regret doing that, Doug!' 'Don't throw all of the movies out in the yard in a drunken rage! You'll regret it when none of them will work any longer!' But I did not want to be right about THIS!! I'd give ANYTHING to have had him prove me wrong this one time! If he could, I know he'd say, 'I should've listened to you, baby!' As he always did if I was right about something. I guess the worst part is, the night before he died, we had a TWO HOUR LONG conversation about how I didn't want to wake up & find him dead! That if I found him dead, the kids would find him dead! I asked him if that's what he wanted. I said that will fuck us up for life; not to mention I'm sure your crazy ass family would blame me! (Yes, isn't it ironic! Because those crazy assholes DO blame me, as stupid as it is!!) Normally when I said this to him, he'd respond by saying, 'nothing's going to happen to me! I've drank more then this in one night & didn't die!' But this night, he said, 'no baby, I don't want that to happen!' I felt like I shouldn't have ever said that to him! But I had no idea it would happen that night. God, hindsight really is 20/20!! It's like I knew from the time I met him that our relationship would be short-lived. But I guess, deep down, I thought if he does die, it'll be years from now! Because it takes longer then 8 years for alcohol to kill you, right?!?! I know so many alcoholics that have drank every day of their lives & are still kickin it at 50+ years old! But, they don't drink vodka everyday. They mix it up a bit; bear & liquor only  occasionally. Doug was not like that; it was vodka & it was every single day. 

God knows, I didn't want it this way. I stupidly though we had our whole lives left. I stupidly thought he had all the time in the world to get better! He was trying. He didn't want to be that way! I mean, who the fuck would want albeit choose to live their life that way?! No one!! He would cry & tell me he didn't want to be like that! And, for any idiot that may read this & think or say, 'he wasn't trying! He drank the night before he died!' Fuck you! That don't mean he wasn't trying! Get off of your fucking high horse! People slip; make mistakes! It all goes back to the point: it was his time to go. Nothing I did or didn't do would've saved him. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't fix him. Any 'Godly' person knows that God knows from the moment you are conceived when he will reclaim his gift to us. He knew when Bonnie conceived him 29 years ago that he was going to take him back on March 10, 2015. He would only be allowed 27 precious years in this life until he was to move on to the next. One month & 7 days shy of his 28th birthday. Forever 27. 

He didn't lie to me. He did stay with me for his forever! We ran out of time far too soon! Not a day goes by; hell, not a second goes by that he's not on my mind. Not a second goes by that I don't wish things were different! Lord knows, if I could change what happened, I WOULD!! It breaks my heart in half! Not only for myself but for my kids. They still talk about him every single day! 

One things for sure, the love I have for him is all consuming! And I'll love him until my own forever! His beautiful face is imprinted in my mind. I see it every time I close my eyes. No matter where this life will lead me, he will come along. His pictures are still up everywhere in my house. I still have everything he owned. Most still where he left it! The food we cooked the night before he died is STILL in my fridge, 10 months later!! I'll throw it out when I'm ready. Unlike some assholes, I won't sweep him under a rug & remember him as a 17 year old high school kid! I remember him for the beautifully, amazing man his alcoholism clouded. I seen through it. 

I love you, my Doug. Always have. ALWAYS WILL. 

Love,

Your Toni Williams 

One year ago today!

Picture he took of himself that night, after I went to bed, lol! 

Rules for the Third Annual Christmas Card Exchange Program

Welcome to the Third Annual SBAPLA Christmas Card Exchange Program! First, before you read any further, if you know you will not be able to purchase or make two Christmas cards & two stamps, please do not join. If you can, please continue reading. Here I will explain how the program works & try & answer your questions.

**What you'll need to do:

To participate, as stated above, you'll need to purchase a minimum of two Christmas cards & two postage stamps (if your names are within the states. If outside the states, you'll purchase six stamps, three for each card). You may ask for more than two names but each person is only required to send out two cards. GIFTS ARE NOT REQUIRED. You may send one but you do not have to. You can also make your cards. Some people find this cheaper, easier & more fun anyway. The addresses will be chosen & provided by me. If you would prefer not to receive religious cards, please specify this when you sign up. If you'd like to stay within your own country, please specify this as well. Please note, I'll try my best to honor that request, but it can't always be done. Especially if you're outside the states because most of the people that sign up are in the states.

**Sign ups & deadlines to have the cards sent out by:

Sign ups started on October 1, 2015. The deadline to sign up by will be Friday, November 20, 2015. I will begin emailing and/or inboxing the addresses to everyone on Monday, November 23, 2015. If the names given to you are outside of your country, the cards must be mailed out by Friday, December 11, 2015. If they are within your own country, they must be mailed out by Friday, December 18, 2015. We want the cards to get there BEFORE Christmas NOT AFTER. 

**If you haven't participated in any card exchanges of mine in the past:

If this is your first time participating in one of my card exchange programs, you'll need to either email me or inbox me on the fan page for the program. The link to the fan page is below. My email address is mamasbby84@aol.com. 

Please send me the following info when you email me:

1. Your first & last name
2. Your mailing address with NO ABBREVIATIONS.
3. Your angels name (optional)

Also include, as stated above, if you would rather not receive religious cards. If it's too hurtful for your angels name to be on card, just don't include his/her name. 

**If you have participated in past exchanges:

If you've participated in the past, all you have to do is tell me you'd like to join. I have all the addresses of everyone that's participated already. If your address has changed since the last exchange, please notify me via email or inbox message on Facebook.

**What happens if you need to drop out:

Dropping out IS acceptable. I know that things happen, oftentimes unexpectedly. If you find you need to drop out, please notify me so that I can give your names to someone else or pick them up myself. If you drop out & you do notify me, you WILL be allowed to join future programs. If you do NOT notify me, you'll be banned from all future programs. If you send me a message AFTER the deadline to have your cards out telling me you need to drop out, this will be unacceptable! If something happens after the deadline, that's no excuse. Because had you sent your cards out on time, this wouldn't effect anything. Please only join if you're serious about it. This is very important! We don't want hurt an angel mothers feelings on an already difficult holiday.

**What is NOT acceptable:

E-Cards are NOT acceptable! Real cards are more personal and that's what's required for this program. 

**Facebook address for the fan page:

Please like the page for the card exchange program & visit it often. I will post updates & important info on the page. The link is www.facebook.com/HolidayCardExchange. 

Thank you to everyone that signs up! It's because of you that this is possible! I look forward to a wonderful holiday season! I hope you all will enjoy the program! 

A great need to vent

I'm going to write an entire blog strictly as a way to vent. At times, I may sound like an ungrateful bitch. BUT, I'm really NOT!! I just need to get some things out that are discouraging me. Everyone knows that I have an organization called Kaylea's Little Pieces Of Heaven. I send out bears to angel mothers in memory of my own two angels. See, I wanted to do something good; something that wouldn't cost a dime for the mothers that I help. I've seen so many 'organizations' that in the beginning start for the right reasons. But somewhere down the line, their organization takes off & their heads get big. Their egos grow with their organizations. I didn't want to become like those people. Because, you see, every charitable organization starts out at the bottom, where I am. But once they grow, prosper, they look down on us little people just trying to help & just starting out. You have those types. Then, there's the next type that when ego & arrogance come, morals go. Straight out the window. Then they claim all proceeds go towards some made up charity. They claim to hand make jewelry that they know they aren't hand making! They charge severely over the top prices for something you could make yourself. They send the same types messages to everyone that contacts them. They turn their backs on angel parents if they disagree with one tiny thing they do or rather don't do. And it never ceases to amaze me how many people fall into that trap over & over again! Trust. How do you gain it? Do you gain it by not charging a single dime for any service you offer? Do you tell the truth & send the product out when you say you will do so? Do you put countless hours of your free time into hand making puzzle pieces? Do you always interact with your fans on a personal level & tell them you're sorry for their loss & call their baby out by name so it doesn't sound like the same pre-typed message sent to everyone? Because all of these are things I do. Daily. I charge for absolutely nothing that I do. I give the option to everyone to purchase their bear but it is NOT necessary nor is it required! I do my best to offer advice & support to any angel mother that needs it. I spend every second of my free time either making bears or graphics, answering inbox messages & several other things. Yet, these assholes, such as Kerin Lee, for example, screw over just about everyone that comes to her for help!! I've never ever done the things to people she has done & yet I can't get help, can't get anywhere with what I'm doing. I have never, not once took money from someone that decided to pay for their bear & not actually send it out. I ship every paid for bear out on the next business day! Have I not proved that I'm trustworthy?!?! Yet those that are in NO WAY trustworthy, receive donation after donation. They are actually able to sell everything they can, down to a rubber bracelet!! I couldn't give them away!! 

I'm not asking to be put on a pedestal or to be told I'm great for what I'm doing. However, a simple 'thank you' is greatly appreciated! Half of the time, I have to send a message asking if they've received their bear because I never hear back from them. I notify everyone when I've shipped out their bear. Most don't even respond. I shipped out bears recently, and not one person has told me they've received it yet. The estimated arrival day was 2 days ago. I work very hard on these bears! Now granted I have a long wait list. I have no way of telling them when they'll receive their bear. The people that are receiving bears now requested 2 years ago. They know what happened & why they're just now getting their bear. HOWEVER, none of the ones going out were paid for. So, they were aware that it will take time to send them. But everyone knows this when they go on the wait list. I tell everyone the same thing when they request a bear: there's an unspecified wait time but if you pay $10 or at minimum pay shipping costs, your bear will be shipped out on the next business day. Not once have I not sent out a paid for bear on the next business day!! When I first started my mission, in 2012, I started out on Twitter. I come across a few places that offered FREE keepsakes for angel parents. I requested a really cute wooden block from Maura's Mission & a rosary from Harper's Rosaries. These were free items. It took a few months to receive them. But, did I once message the lovely ladies making the keepsakes & ask them why I haven't received them yet?!?! Absolutely NOT. Why? Because they were free!! Now, had I paid for them, of course I would've been asking where they were. Let's face it, a 12 week or more wait time for an item that you paid shipping prices on is RIDICULOUS!! And people know when they sign up that I have no way of knowing when they'll receive their bear. Yet, I still get people that will place a request today & next week at this time will send me rude messages asking why they haven't received their bear yet & when they'll receive it. Now, don't get me wrong. Not everyone is this way & that is why I continue doing it. The good far outweighs the bad!! And I'm very grateful for all of my dedicated fans!! They are what makes this worth all the hassle. I just need to vent every now & then!! 

I constantly had people asking me how could they donate. At that time, I had no way for them to donate. Now I do. I made a GoFundMe account. I decided to ask a few baby loss pages if they'd share my campaign & help me raise funds. Of course, because there are those people that lie on GoFundMe accounts to take money from people, no one wants to share it for me! I always have fellow angel parents inbox me & ask me to share things like their GFM page or their fan pages. I always do it! Any way that I can help, I'll do it. It's not a freaking competition! We're all working toward the same purpose! There are some, again, Kerin Lee, that will ban you for even asking her to share anything on her page. And you will for sure find yourself banned if you share it yourself! Yet these arrogant women continue to thrive in the baby loss community! I'll never understand it for the life of me! And I'm VERY grateful for the $255 I've received in the past almost two months, don't get me wrong! But no one I know personally, no family, no friends, have donated anything. It's been people I've met online through my Facebook pages. And to me, that's incredibly AMAZING!! People that don't even know me have donated their money to help me & that's just amazing to me!! But why when my friends know me personally & know that I do exactly as I say I'm going to do, why don't they help?! And like I said, I'm very grateful for what I have. But I don't understand why my own friends & my community don't want to help! 

I've tried twice now to hold a public event such as a balloon release and a remembrance walk. Both times, I've failed. I tried to get my local paper & news station to run a story & I've failed each time. They don't even tell me no but choose to just ignore my messages. Why is it so hard to get people to care about something so serious?!?! I was told, when comparing breast cancer & losing a child, that breast cancer gets so much attention because those that live are survivors & they want to shout that out. Do people not think us angel mommies are survivors as well?!?! We survived something no one should EVER have to endure: the death of our children!! WE ARE SURVIVORS!!! Survivors with unbelievable strength & courage! I'm not saying those that survive breast cancer aren't survivors & don't have strength & courage. I'm just saying that WE are survivors too! 

I feel like I'm trying incredibly hard to do the right thing. To simply prove that our babies matter. To break the silence, to spread awareness. But absolutely no one cares. The more I try to do, the further I fall behind. And I REFUSE to stoop down to the level of the slime that screw over people on their way to the top. No. I'm just going to start over. Start small. And hopefully, one day, I'll achieve what I started out to do 3 years ago.

I hope no one reading this takes offense to what I'm saying. I am forever grateful for every donation I've received, for every lovely person I encounter every single day, for every photo I receive of bears from happy & grateful customers! For every 'thank you' & every kind word said to me by wonderful women! I just wish everyone were so kind & grateful for the hard work I put into making these bears for everyone. For every dollar I spend of my own money to make them free for everyone. And I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that has helped in any way, big or small! From donating their hard earned money to simply sharing my campaign! THANK YOU!!! 

Bridget Wall: She's back & worse then EVER!!

If you're friends with me on my personal Facebook page you may remember me sharing a GoFundMe page about a girl named Bridget Wall that made the page to help raise funds for a lawyer for her husbands upcoming courtroom battle over his biological daughter. See, I know the baby that her & her husband are trying to take. She is my niece (not by blood but her NiNi (granny) is my best friend, Nikki & her mama too, Kora). Bridget is married to the baby, Lili's, daddy. Ok, firstly, she told a STACK of lies on the GFM fundraiser description. I'm not just someone watching this unfold through Facebook posts & arguments. I am very close to this situation. I've been there since day ONE. A lil over a year ago, Nikki gained custody, which I won't go into. But the 'daddy' Drew was at every single court date because I was there too. I was a witness for Nikki. On the GoFundMe description, Bridget states that the grandma was given custody before a paternity test was done to prove him Lilith's father. That's true. HOWEVER, he was asked, in court, by the judge, if he had a problem or debated Nikki having custody & he said NO, HE DID NOT. So, that's not the full truth. She also said the mother, Kora, was in & out of drug rehab & that's a damn lie!! She's never been to a drug rehab, EVER!  Drew isn't doing this, BRIDGET IS. That's so very obvious! She's the one constantly on Facebook putting down people, slandering names & acting a fool. She's the one that made the GOFUNDME page. This baby hasn't seen a day of peace since she was born. This 'thing' is telling lie after lie trying to take this baby away from everyone she knows & loves! Bridget has gotten on Facebook on her personal page and a fan page she has called A Metal Mommy Blog & has bad mouthed Nikki & Kora. Everyone has problems, everyone makes mistakes. But these people have no good, logical reason to take Nikki to court & try & take Lili away from her home, no matter what kind of bullshit lies she tells! Anyway, the truth will come out in court. So, that's not what this is about. 

Keep in mind, she has a fundraising page set up to raise funds to help pay a lawyer to go to court with her husband. Because, according to her, they have the money for everyday expenses but nothing extra to pay for a lawyer. Well, I get on Facebook just now & what pops up in my news feed?? Her fan page, A METAL MOMMY BLOG, and its SPONSORED. Ok, I've paid to sponsor my Stilbirth page for the past 3 years for a month at tax time. IT COSTS MONEY. A LOT OF MONEY TO DO THAT!! It's not free. You pay Facebook a fee each day & they advertise your page. It's to get more likes on your page & reach more people that have an interest in the purpose of the page. I paid $20 a day to sponsor mine one year & $40 a day the next year. This isn't one of those adds you see that says something like "pay $29.99 a month and get 1,000 likes on Facebook." This is legit through Facebook. Her page is sort of an advice page or something like that. But if anyone knew this crazy person, she'd be the LAST person they'd take advice from! So, here's my point: you don't have extra funds for a lawyer but you DO have $20 a DAY to spend to sponsor your shitty, pointless Facebook page with idiotic, lying rants from you, every single day?? What sense does that make, like at all?? NO SENSE. NONE!! That'll look great when you go to court! Or wait. Let me see if I understand this. You tell lies about how broke you are & you can't afford a lawyer to go to court, when YOU are the one that filed the papers to go, so you can sponge money off of people. Try & make them feel sorry for you. (Don't be fooled by the $524 she's raised so far. $500 of it was donated by Drew's father & he did it to help them save face! They gave it right back to him! Those pages will still say you've got whatever people have donated, even after you withdraw it. I know. I have a GoFundMe page. A legit one). Then, turn around and do something that takes A LOT of money to be able to do by paying to sponsor your page? Oh, ok. That makes perfect sense. Yes, I see what you need money for now. Ok. You see, if you have the money to do that, then you should have PLENTY of money for a lawyer! Because broke people, REALLY broke people, can't pay to sponsor a Facebook page. And don't even try to say someone else is paying for it. That page has absolutely no purpose!! No reason anyone would pay to sponsor that page!! And if you're paying, it'll still say 'sponsored' underneath it. THAT is what sponsoring means. You're paying for it. I mean, I'm just gonna throw this out there but, maybe this money you're pouring into a shitty, no purpose Facebook page could go to your defenses for court because trust me, YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT!! Do you think that looks good, at all?? You spend money on something so stupid when you have that fundraising page set up because you're so broke? It'll be a cold day in hell that Drew would get custody anyway. Because regardless of what you may think, you won't be there fighting for her, only Drew will. Sure, you can be in the courtroom, as a witness, but still you won't be allowed in until they call you in, IF they call you in at all. See, you're NOT Lili's mother, no matter what your deluded mind tells you. Drew is her daddy. You are nothing. Less then nothing as a stepmother! And looking solely at Drew, what does he have?? NOTHING!! He don't have a car or a drivers license. He brings Lili home, by himself, no license, no nothing. He don't work. He wouldn't have a home if not for you paying the bills for him to lay home on his lazy, sorry ass. And every time Lili comes home from your house, she's bruised & has bloody scratches all over her, her diaper won't have been changed in what would seem like hours! You are HORRIBLE parents!! You are a lying, scheming, no good, bitch! You are lying to solicit money from people you've made feel sorry for you to try & take a baby out of a perfectly fine & WONDERFUL home, I might add! For your own selfish, petty reasons! You are 31 years old & trapped a 22 year old into marriage by getting pregnant. Drew didn't give a damn about Lili before you came along. You told Nikki yourself that you are the one that talked Drew into taking her to court for visitation rights. 

Anyway, I'm going to go share the fan page & have everyone report it. Then, I'm emailing GoFundMe with the screenshot I took of your sponsored Facebook page & show them that you are a liar. Nothing but a no good, pathetic liar. Here's a tip for future reference: don't lie to get money from people & then turn around & spend a lot of money on something so unimportant like a Facebook page! 

She states the lawyer, (and I quote) " is a special expense that we cannot afford at this time. Our regular bills are maintained and covered..." So, paying to sponsor a pointless Facebook page is a 'regular bill'. Not really, Bridget!! 

'.....We just don't have the extra funds to handle the lump sum of the lawyer fee.' WOW!!!! But you do, however, have the extra funds to handle sponsoring your page?? Hmmmm.....

Updating everyone & still begging for donations. Pathetic!!! I'll be praying alright! Praying God makes you pay for what you're doing!! I don't think the prayers of lying, conniving people are really answered. But I don't know the protocol on that. (Insert sarcasm here)

You just keep on doing stupid shit that will surely come back to bite you in the ass! But this, THIS is BY FAR, the most ignorant thing you've done so far, besides the act of filing for custody itself. That was pretty stupid!

So, anyone reading this, am I the only one that sees something incredibly wrong with this?! I have GoFundMe page but I didn't have it when I was paying to sponsor my Facebook page! I guess morality died with chilvary, honesty & truth. Tsk, tsk TSK. 

This is a screenshot of her fan page, A Metal Mommy Blog. Clearly saying, 'SPONSORED' underneath the page name.  

Gay marriage

On Friday, June 26, 2015, history was made. The U.S. Supreme Court declared marriage a constitutional right equally held by all Americans. Thus legalizing same sex marriages. Of course, there's an uproar amongst all Bible thumpers & Jesus freaks all across the world!! Me, personally, I don't understand what the LGTB (I don't know if that's the right order) are fighting so hard to get married for! Marriage isn't what it's made out to be! HOWEVER, I can understand their want to be treated equally so I'm all for gay marriages. Hell, I love gay people! Especially gay men! They are the best friends a gal could ever have!! 

Anyway, I'm reading the Danville Register & Bee today & there's an uproar in Morehead, KY today because a county court clerk named Kim Davis, is refusing to issue not only gay marriage certificates but certificates to straight couples as well. Several county clerks along the Bible Belt are refusing to issue any marriage licenses. Saying it goes against God & their personal beliefs. Well, whatever happened to the separation of church & state? This is a law that has been passed by the Supreme Court. It's not about God or your own personal beliefs. You do what you were sworn into office to do: uphold the law. Laws change all the time & I'm sure these people knew that going in. They are arguing that gay marriage was not a part of the law when they were sworn in. Therefore, they do not & should not have to abide by that law or enforce it. Hey, do your job or step aside & let someone else do it! A few are also declining to step down so that someone who is bias can issue the licenses. How can they refuse to step down?! Fire them! Make them leave! I'm sorry but gay couples should be able to do everything a straight couple can do! Marriage should be no exception. They are people, not animals & shouldn't be treated as if they are! 

Homosexuality is an endless debate, much like abortion. People should agree to disagree & move on to something else. But those that fight the good fight deserve to have what everyone else has. Nothing more. NOTHING LESS.