It starts in the winter of 2010. When the leaves fell from the trees, I noticed a tiny graveyard across the street. Hidden by the trees, this graveyard had about 10 graves in it & out of the 10, about 5 of them were children. After the discovery of the graveyard, things became weird in my home. Skimming through it, we heard the sound of a ball bouncing, felt the trailer shake as if the kids were jumping on the bed when they weren't, one of my photos hanging on the wall would levitate to the floor, sugar canister disappeared & was found 2 weeks later in my bedroom closet wrapped in a baby blanket, footsteps up & down the hall, oh & lets not forget the ghost of a little boy in the hallway in front of my bedroom door!!
Fast forward 5 years to 2015, my beautiful fiancé passed away in my trailer on my couch. Ever since then, I've never felt alone. I've felt like he's been with me since he passed away. I relentlessly searched online looking for reasons a spirit would linger after death. The main two reasons were if it was an unexpected death or if the someone left behind was grieving! And both of those reasons applies to me.
Back in January, I began searching for paranormal investigators in my area. I came across a man named Brian & I emailed him. His site said he & his team do the investigation for free. So I decided to take a chance & email him. I mean the worst that could happen was he not answer me. In the first email I sent him, I told him a little about my trailer; the past ghostly happenings. About how my mom seen a little boy in our hallway, right in front of my bedroom door. We would hear balls bouncing in my room, the bed moving as if someone was jumping on it, the sugar canister disappeared one time & I found it 2 weeks later, in my closet, wrapped in a baby blanket, stuff disappeared from my house never to be found again, the white light that floats outside of my bedroom window, the footsteps up & down my hallway, lights turning on by themselves, the photo of my kids that would drift away from the wall & slowly float down to the floor; I could go on & on! I also told him that my fiancé had passed away in my trailer as well. And ever since he passed away, things have gotten interesting once again. My cigarettes disappear & I do not find them, ever. Doug hated that I smoked & bitched at me incessantly about it! Since he passed away, SIX packs of cigarettes have vanished overnight! I constantly see something moving in my kitchen at night around the chair he used to sit in & drink at my kitchen table. Doug would make me stay awake with him at night when he'd drink. And some nights I cannot sleep because every time I dose off I'm woken up by something! I feel like it's him waking me up as he used to do. I've never felt alone since he died. I feel him. I feel him here with me. It's hard to explain that feeling. Doug was ALWAYS with me, everywhere I went, he went. And I still feel like he's with me. Anyway, I didn't go into too many details with Brian during our email exchanges.
We chatted back & forth for five months. Until last Thursday he said he wanted to come on Saturday night to do the investigation. Excitement filled my entire body!! He told me he'd bring his fiancé, a medium named Nena & another guy named Brian. He told me not to burn candles or encents, and needed to know where my breaker box was. He said these things sometimes interfere with Nena's concentration. They arrived Saturday night at 8pm. First Brian & his fiancé arrived & he had me take down all of my photos of Doug. Nena doesn't like to know anything about the place she's going to or the people that live there. This is done so what she sees will be real. She didn't even know my address until they were on the way here. So I took down all my photos & hid them. And Nena arrived 10 minutes later. Brian began setting up his equipment in my kitchen while I chatted with Nena & Donna (Brian's fiancé). He sat up a Kinect, the thingy that you can buy for an Xbox 360. He explained that the Kinect would pick up any movement in my living room. When you stand in front of it, it forms a sorta stick man on your body as you move. After he explained everything to me, we got quiet so Nena could do her walk through. Donna followed behind her with a video camera recording her. She said there was a lot of energy pulling her towards the back of my trailer, to my kids room. When she came back up the hall, she asked me if anyone had ever died in that bedroom; I told her not that I knew of but this trailer has been here for years so it's quite possible. She told me she sensed an old man, with sideburns way down his face, that slumped over when he walks. She asked Kenadi if she ever felt anyone touching her in her sleep because this man told her he would do that trying to get help. As if he's stuck here & can't leave. After this, me & my mom were chatting with Donna & Nena was standing at the end of my couch. My couch sits against the wall that Doug died up against. I looked over at her & her face was pale, her eyes were blackened, her knees were buckled, her arms were blue where so many veins were sticking out! She said, "I can't stand here! I've got to move because I'm sick to my stomach! This energy is strong!" At that time, Brian asked me where my breaker box was because sometimes it will interfere & that will be what she's feeling. I showed him my breaker box is in my kids bedroom & he said "what she felt was real! The box is too far away from her!" She told us that it literally hurt her when that happened. When she snapped out of it, she turned & looked at me & said, "he was a drinker, a heavy drinker!" I lost it. I turned my head in tears as she explained to me that a man was contacting her, a man with a distinguished face with high cheekbones, a face that's rare but beautiful, a man with dirty blonde hair that scrunched as if it has moose in it, a man that was sick in this life, then she stopped all of a sudden & said "he's telling me to come back here he wants to show me something." So she & Donna went down the hall & a few minutes later she came back & said to me, "he used to hide bottles in that back bedroom." Oh my fucking GOD, how did she know that?!?! That's something I did not tell Brian & at this point Nena knew nothing about me or my house!! See, when Doug & I first started dating, we slept in my kids room with them, when he'd finish a bottle, he'd put it underneath the kids bed, and in between drinks he'd slide it under the bed. She had me with that one sentence!! She sat down against the wall he died against & began explaining him according to his emotions. She said, "he was very emotional; up & down up & down, he was bipolar, but wasn't diagnosed, everything was everyone else's fault, he had a rough childhood, without his real father, and his mother wasn't the best mother, he didn't know how to love, really love, because he didn't get that love from his mother, he was estranged from his family, he's mad, he's very upset, he loved me the best way he knew how to love, he wanted acceptance, he wanted to be wanted by those around him, he's so mad it's physically hurting me. She stood up with that blank look on her face & said "he hates someone in here; he hates one of you! She looked at my mom, pointed & said, "it's you! He hates you! I'm fighting every urge in my body to call you a fucking bitch right now! You used to go nose to nose with him arguing!" She got right up to my mamas face with their noses touching & said, "he used to get this close to you & you to him." Another thing she couldn't possible have known. When Doug passed away, he & my mom were on great terms! This surprised both of us. Doug & my mom hated each other in the beginning & had several arguments nose to nose! She said that this was part of his emotions going up & down & that anything he says could've happened at any point in his life. So it may not be that he hates her now but that he hated her at some point. And he did, in the beginning. When she said this, my mom told her about a few of those arguments. While they were talking, out of view of the Kinect, I went in the kitchen & looked at the computer screen, and OMG there it was, a stick figure in front of my tv going CRAZY!! No one was even in my living room!! This figure also stood on my couch at one point as well. Brian said when he first set up his computer, he seen a figure standing in front of my tv. You couldn't see a person, just the stick figure that the Kinect makes on a person. After this, my mom asked Nena if she knew his name. We still hadn't told her anything other then the stories about he & mama fighting. We never said his name, only referred to him as 'him'. She started concentrating and said "I'm getting Douglas. Douglas Willey, no not Willey, Williams. Douglas Williams, Jr." OMFG again!!!!! How did she know this?!?! HOW!!! This women was absolutely AMAZING! I asked her if he knew he was dead? She said, "he knows he's dead but he won't accept it; he's seen the light but he won't go into it. He's staying here because of things left unsaid, your grief (she pointed at me) is also keeping him here. His anger towards his family, his anger at himself for dying. He knows it was his fault that he died. He has no one on the other side so he's just roaming by himself." She told us that his body had been shutting down for years. She told me to imagine a circuit board with switches on it & going down it & turning one switch off at a time. That's was how his body was. She said he slowly committed suicide. He drank himself to death over several years. After she told us that a little later on, Nena was standing in my doorway coming into my trailer, she said he's right behind me. The entire time she said she was just waiting for him to run up on her and hit her! She said she just knew he was going to run through her. When we would be talking about him, that's when he would get the maddest. When she was standing in the doorway she got that blank look on her face & turned to me & said, "Do you have a boyfriend? (I said no). She said wait, you had a man here & he does not like it at all!!" That was true. I am seeing someone & he was there a few days before Nena came!! After all of this was over, we sat down with Nena & told her everything about Doug. She told me again that he was here because of my grief for him. She told me that although his physical body is gone, his spiritual body was here & that it's still sick. She said she believes there are places that he can go to get better. But she said in order for him to go, I had to tell him too. She said he won't listen to anyone else. I told her I'm not letting him go; I'm not telling him to go! No, no fucking way!! I'm selfish & I'm sorry but if he's here, he is staying here! He made me miserable most of our 11 months together. I loved him more then my own life; and I still do, but Doug drove me utterly insane with his alcoholism! It was constantly a roller coaster of up & downs; fight after fight, many MANY tears shed during our tumultuous relationship & many shed after his death. I missed him so bad after he died that I physically hurt because of it! There were many days that I had to remind myself to breathe! Just breathe! And there are still days that I have to remind myself to breathe nearly 15 months later. Anyway, she explained to me that he would come back after he got better, as if that was a way to make me tell him it was ok to go if I knew he was coming back. So, she asked me if I would give him permission to go. She took me to my kids bedroom & sat me on the bed and told me to visualize that I'm with him; she said hold his hand & give him permission to get better. I had tears rolling down my face as I sat there imagining myself standing next to him, holding his precious hand & telling him to go; I tried. But he resisted. She said he wouldn't go. She said there was a lot of hesitation & resistance. He was stuck on me in life & now in death as well. I felt awful but honestly, I didn't think I could do that part because I don't think I believe in it. I don't think I can visualize that I'm telling him to leave; it just seems stupid & unreal. I know that sounds stupid after everything I've said in this blog but that is different.
This women knew things she could not have possibly known!! She came into my house oblivious about everything. What got me was her description of him, her saying what she did about him hiding bottles. She could only have known that if she really was talking to Doug!! There were no photos of him anywhere & I didn't send Brian any photos of him nor did I tell him what Doug looked like. She described him to a tee!! It was amazing & overwhelming! The things we seen on the computer screen proved my house has paranormal activity; something I've known since moving here in 2010. I'm so very happy that I decided to do this. It gave me a bit of closure in his death. I don't know if the door will ever fully be closed on mine & Doug's relationship. I don't think so because I still have so many unanswered questions about it. The main one being what he actually passed away from. I shared my life with this man, he died in my home yet I have no idea what happened! He was snatched away from us as if we didn't exist & according to Nena this did not make him happy at all! Which I knew it wouldn't have! He wanted me with him at all times! Of course he would've wanted me at his service! All I heard at the time was "family only" "he would've wanted his family there" "we only wanted it family" family, family FAMILY!! Exactly right, he would've wanted his family there & we ARE his family! I won't go into all of that again but I hope they know that what they did was absolutely WRONG! And Doug is very upset about it. In fact, Nena told me that most of his anger stems from his childhood & how he was treated by his 'mother'. She told me this before she knew anything about Doug other then what she was seeing & hearing from him. After we told her about him, she was blown away by it herself, how dead on she was about him! I'm still blown away, two weeks later!
I owe Nena everything for coming here & jusifying everything I've been experiencing here since Doug passed away. I'm so very happy that I found them online! And I gave them the opportunity to come here! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this blog finished but it was a very emotional thing for me to experience & then write about here. Thank you to all of my friends that have been here with me through it all!! I'm very thankful for all of you!!
Me & my beautiful fiancé!!
Wow. So many tears. I'm so happy for you that you finally know for sure he is there with you. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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